How to make being a working Mom work
From Mommyplace.com WiKI Page
Being a working Mom requires discipline, organization, and alot of help.
1) Invest in a good childcare solution.
If you feel good about your child's care while you are at work, you have won 90% of the battle. There is nothing worse than worrying about your child while you are at the office in a stressful meeting. Cut spending in other areas of your life so that you are able to afford the type of childcare that provides you this security. My husband and I decided against a larger house, renovations in our current house, and a fancy car in order to afford a Full Time Nanny for our son. It's the best decision we ever made. Even when I travel and am 2,000 miles away, I don't worry about my son.
2) Make use of every minute, but also follow tip #3 (below).
If you can workout at your lunch hour, do it. If you can get up at 5am and return work emails or lift weights in your basement, do it. When your child goes down for the night, pay bills, do laundry, or work on that big project for your company.
3) Take at least 30 minutes each day to either veg out or take a nap.
When I was on maternity leave, I used my son's naps to do laundry, write thank you notes, check emails, and do other projects. After 4 weeks, I was exhausted. At that point I finally starting following everyone's advice and started sleeping myself during at least one of my son's naps. When I went back to work, I fell back into the same bad habit. At night I was on the go until bed time. On the weekends I used every spare minute and every nap time to get stuff done. After 3 months I was exhausted again. Now I veg out for at least 30 mins every week day and for at least one hour on the weekends. Often on the week days I work after my son goes to bed until 10pm but then I put my computer away and watch something that I've TIVO'd or read my book before turning out the light. On the weekends I do the same thing...usually when my son is napping.
4) Readjust your expectations on what needs to get done.
I write down ONLY 3 things that I want to get down each weekend. If they are big things, I only write down one. Sometimes I get my entire list done. Sometimes I don't...but I've had a great weekend with my family.
5) Prioritize what's important to you.
If getting the laundry done is more important that planting spring flowers, that's fine. Just make sure you are getting done what's important to you otherwise you will be miserable.
6) Hire help if you can
If you can afford it, hire a cleaning service to clean your home every other week. That way you are not scrubbing toilets on the weekends. Hire someone to walk the dog twice a week or take the dog to doggie daycare.
7) Talk to your company/manager about flexibility
Many companies have flex time programs. Many do not. Talk to your Manager and find out what is acceptable for both of you. If he/she is hestitant, ask to try something for one month and show them it's going to work.
8) Always make sure your employer feels they are winning
If you are lucky enough to gain some flexibility from your employer, show your gratitude by going the extra mile and making yourself one of the company's top performers.
9) Work out, work out, work out
You will be a much happier person and also have more energy to deal with the crazy life of a working Mom if you work out. Invest in whatever you need in order to make working out easier. If you don't have time to go to the gym, buy a treadmill or an eliptical for your house. If you like nice health clubs, forgo a dinner out each month so that you can afford the expensive health club fees.
10) Take some time to do what you like
Make time at least every other week to do what makes you happy. Go hiking. Take your bike out for a long ride. Go shopping. Go to the movies. Get a massage. Go to a coffee shop and read your book in peace. Do what it takes to get this time away. My husband and I trade time for time. He gets to golf with his friends on a Saturday, I get to ride my bike for a couple of hours on a Sunday.
11) Don't forget your marriage/relationship
I have found this is the toughest thing NOT to let slip. A working Mom gives so much of herself to her child, household, and job, there does not feel like much left to give to her husband. Neglecting the relationship will take a toll in the end. Make time for you and your husband...even if it's as lame as promising to watch a favorite TV show together every week. Take the dog and kids for a walk in the spring and summer and catch up on the day and talk about future plans. Go dinner or the movies at least once a month. Talk about something other than household logistics.
12) Accept your decision to work
Working Mom Guilt. You will hear this term a great deal. You will likely suffer from it over and over. Whether you have to work or just like working, accept your decision. It's very possible to be an excellent Mom and have a career. And, your child will be just fine.
13) Make friends with other working Moms
Don't ignore your Stay at Home Mom friends or terminate your friendships with them but seek to add some Working Mom friends to your life. These Moms better understand your daily challenges and they are always up for a great vent session on how difficult things can be. Working Moms are also usually up for playdates on the weekends which will make you feel less bad about missing the playdate and playgroups that take place during the week days. Other Working Moms usually have great tips and advice on how to manage work and kids.
Being a Working Mom is really, really difficult. However, know that you are in good company. Nearly 50% of household are two income families today. There are days that you will be completely exhausted, feel like you are failing at everything, and ready to give up. There are also days that you will feel that you have accomplished more than you ever thought you could. Also, remember that you are providing your child with an excellent role model in work ethic and career development.
